Nephi had many trials: His older brothers yelled at him that he lost their possessions to Laban in Jerusalem. His older brothers beat him with a rod. His older brothers tried to kill him; they tied him up and left him in the wilderness. His older brothers chastised him for breaking his bow. His […]
Today is a special day; a day of remembrance, reflection and gratitude. On this day, exactly fifteen years ago; just one week before my fortieth birthday, I was diagnosed with MS. How is having an incurable disease special and worth remembering? Some might ask. The disease itself isn’t special and I’d be crazy to say […]
Instead of going down rabbit holes that lead to dark places I go down rabbit holes that lead to faith. Be strong like unto Moses. —Nephi For when I am weak, then am I strong. —Paul I’m strong because the Lord turns my weaknesses into strengths when I have faith in him. He doesn’t take […]
The weekly bulletin for my Ward’s Sacrament Meeting at church on Sunday (that comes to my email on Saturday’s) indicated that today’s meeting would be done by missionaries and I knew I’d feel the spirit today and my feeling was true. The meeting was done by elders and sisters on service missions. People become service […]
Reading my previous post makes me want to cry in realizing the Lord comforting and strengthening me last night to bear my pain. Truly the Lord helps me with a power beyond my own. Surely, he is love. Sometimes, most of the time, I don’t understand but in his loving kindness he blesses me. In […]
My sacrum was aching so bad last night that I couldn’t even think. I took four ibuprophen at 930pm and again at 130am. It hurt really bad because usually I don’t take medicine. I thought of this scripture: But it came to pass that I prayed unto the Lord, saying: O Lord, according to my […]
Time for a pep talk: “I am in control of my feelings, not you, and I refuse to let you dictate how I feel. Unfortunate things happen in this imperfect world. There’s no sense hoping the right thing will be done because it won’t. All I can do is choose happiness even when surrounded by […]
The mirror shows me the reflection of my true self. I’m grateful to only seeing my goodness; I’m thankful that no matter what happens to me I won’t be defeated. (“You can’t make me less than beautiful because I was born with the light of Christ.”) The Lord watches over and protects me. I don’t […]
I dare to show the world who I am. I live in my truth and know that I’m only responsible for me. It’s brave to be who I am…authentic…transparent. I am unashamed. I have no regrets and enjoy an empty closet with no skeletons. Haters are gonna hate, but I ignore them. I know what […]
I love this quote by President Ezra Taft Benson: The Lord works from the inside out. The world works from the outside in. The world would take people out of the slums. Christ takes the slums out of the people, and then they take themselves out of the slums. The world would mold men by […]
Leaving the church doesn’t necessarily mean leaving the gospel. There are many people out there with bright, deeply spiritual feelings who don’t fit in at church, or don’t attend church, or who have stepped away from church or otherwise. To them I say, “I understand.” I know what being shunned feels like. I know the […]
In 2008, before getting MS, my son did a school report on stress and I remember thinking that I didn’t have any. (Wrong!) I was involved in many things and responsible for some, but I and my friends just figured, “Do what needs to be done. No whining. Just put your head down and keep […]
April 19, 2020 Certain things caused expectation, disappointment and sadness today. The melancholy feeling stayed in my heart and I felt life getting complicated. “I just want to let it all go and be with my Lord” I thought and longed for the simplicity of just Him and me. YEARS AGO: Exasperated and close to […]
What I can do as of today is: Take myself on a ride. Attend church, remotely. Write in my journal. Study something. Read. Ponder. Pray. Recognize beauty. Be grateful. Realize “It is what it is” and focus on things within my power to control. Forgive and let things go. Decide being happy, optimistic, seeing the […]
I do what I can do. Why lament about what I can’t do? It won’t change anything except make me feel sad. So I go about my day, wanting in my heart to do more, but accepting that “it is what it is.” Accepting that “it is what it is” is a tremendous perspective shift […]
I’ve been dealing with MS for 13 years now and in all that time my moods still go in stages. Over the years I’ve experienced ups and downs and have accomplished many things, but the best thing is that through it all I’m still me. In the beginning of what I would deem the most […]
How can the Atonement of Jesus Christ work for me if I act like I’m perfect and like I don’t need His Help? I’m imperfect and flawed and need the do-overs of repentance and the strength of Christ’s Atonement. I don’t know how Christ works His miracle of helping me, all I know is that […]
With all my heart I believe that my trials can be overcome with faith in Jesus Christ by relying on his divine power and grace. The Lord wants to help me overcome (be free from) the hard things I face in life and so I let him help me. I pour my heart out to […]
My mood is up to me – no matter what. Sometimes life can be hard and the things I face can really get me down. My trials can bring me to sorrow and despair, but Eerk! Stop! Reality check! Here’s me counseling myself in a positive way: “Everyone goes through hard times, not just me. […]
Experienced just now: Bad feeling in my heart: Disappointment. Bad thought in my mind: I’m not important and am unloved. Another bad feeling in my heart: Sadness. Good thought in my mind: All the words to I Know That My Redeemer Lives: I Know That My Redeemer Lives I know that my Redeemer lives. What […]
The most beautiful song I’ve ever heard is “Slow Down“ sung by Sissel because it goes straight to my heart. Music surpasses language; who needs words when understanding is felt? “Slow Down” was written by Chuck Girard in 1975, and Sissel sings it beautifully, as did Chuck Girard. Slow down. Slow down. Be still, my […]
In the last twelve years I’ve known, intimately, that if I don’t move fast I get left behind. People want to keep their pace and if I’m slow it cramps their style. That means me having no friends and doing things alone, at my own pace. That’s just how life is and for me it […]
Having the faith to move mountains for others is easy because I’d gladly help move mountains for them. Helping others is noble but so is increasing my own faith. The idea of having faith isn’t selfish by thinking of myself but is trusting and relying on the Lord and letting Him into my life to […]
The 23rd Psalm means so much to me while having MS. During the first couple of years of having MS my world was greatly shaken up. I felt very transparent and that people could see right thru me. All my skills had left me and I became like a child who had aged 40 years. […]
This morning’s plan was cleaning out my closet: Throw away things no longer wanted and organize new stuff. But I knew I was done two seconds after being in there. What occurred to me in the two seconds was how most of my clothes didn’t reflect “me.” (The old clothes will be replaced with new […]