I understand. When I was a teenager I felt much pressure and severe condemnation regarding some of my choices. I was very good but because of some of my choices many people considered me bad, and I felt no hope.
I remember being a 19 year old unwed mother of a two year old son and one day driving to a beautiful place and taking 15 pills. I wasn’t trying to kill myself but wanted two things: First to escape the pressure of my life for a few hours and second to know that people cared about me.
I’ve heard some people say about victims of suicide, “They were so selfish and just thought about themselves. Maybe if they would have thought about how their friends and family feel because of their suicide they wouldn’t have done it.” To that statement I say, “That statement is selfish – putting friends and family before the victim. Step into their shoes and try to understand. Put their feelings before your own. See it from their point of view. Be kind and show compassion.”
I don’t think that anyone who commits or attempts suicide thinks about it being permanent but just wants to get away from pressure to feel relief.
Let’s face it, some people can be pretty harsh and sometimes the most harshness comes from ourselves and/or from family members whom we love the most. (We’re in pain and hurting but our choices bring some others shame and many times beliefs are chosen over our feelings and unfortunately most of the time it includes shunning, judging, and condemning.)
BUT some people are pretty caring and want to help us if we would just let them into our lives. It’s very brave to admit our feelings instead of saying “I’m fine.” Letting people into our lives may feel humiliating (to admit we’re not perfect) but over time we know they care because when they help us and we’re not so hard on ourselves we see their love.
To all who have thoughts of suicide: “I know. I love you and believe that you’re strong. Be brave and have courage and let others into your life. You can do it. You can be strong, and conquer the darkness. Choose to stay. Believe the truth – that you’re worth it and very much loved.”
Watch this video.