I don’t struggle with mental health challenges, but I’ve had depression and know the feeling of hopelessness. I’ve experienced feeling like life was boring and I’ve felt that my life would always be the same.

In my depression experience deep in my heart, honestly, I liked feeling sad; it comforted me. Ofttimes I wrote unrealistic things that made me feel sad, and then cried, and then forgot what was said until the next time. (Because I just wanted to say what made me sad not act on making myself better.) I liked somber music and sad words, and had a sorrowful frame of mind.

The vicious cycle of my depression changed when my life changed. Per came back into my life and it flooded my world with light. Suddenly my life was new and even though I faced the unknown it was exciting. This little poem (written right after Per came back) is forever etched in my mind:

• Rejoice! I’m free! The past is just a memory!
• At last I feel alive! I’m as happy as can be!

I truly know that the only way to keep myself from feeling depressed or having anxiety is by giving myself pep talks that change my thoughts to good ones, and by not allowing myself to go down rabbit holes that lead to dark places.